Archive | Uncategorized RSS feed for this section

The Town That Named Itself After a Dot-Com

17 Jun
  • Umm. Yeah.
  • The website Snapdeal.com recently donated $5,000 worth of water pumps to a town in India.
    • That was nice.
  • As a show of gratitude, the town renamed itself “Snapdeal.com Nagar” (Nagar means settlement).
    • Of its own volition.
  • Snapdeal.com Nagar is officially not very cool for voluntarily pimping itself.
  • If you’re going to whore your town’s name, at least name it after a dot org.

You can't buy us! (unless you have $5k.)

The Biggest Weiner Reveal of Ginger’s Career

15 Jun
  • Porn star Ginger Lee is set to hold a press conference.
    • To discuss her relationship with Anthony Weiner.
  • This whole Weinerflexing situation is already not very cool. Our bet is that it becomes even less cool.
  • Before she makes her speech, drop us a comment to tell us what lascivious details you think Ginger will reveal.

The Pepsi Jug for Diabetes

15 Jun
  • Here’s a good one.
  • KFC is helping to stomp out juvenile diabetes.
  • How?
  • Wait for iiiiiiiit…
  • By contributing $1 to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (aka JDRF)…
  • Keep waiting…
  • For every 64 oz. jug of Pepsi purchased in one of their restaurants.
  • Not very cool irony, anyone?

The Lesson in Thinking Before Speaking: Presented by Ann Curry

14 Jun
  • Anyone watch the Today show this morning?
  • Ann Curry interviewed the parents of an 11-year-old girl who tragically fell to her death from a Ferris Wheel while on a school trip.
  • In typical Curry fashion, she selected a less-than-appropriate set of words when finishing up the interview.
  • It went something like this: We’ll wait to see what the “fallout” of the investigation looks like.
  • She said this to the girl’s parents.
    • The parents of a girl who fell out of a Ferris Wheel basket. Did we mention that?
  • Considering: 
    • 1) That Ann Curry is a professional reporter
    • 2) The nature of the tragedy
    • 3) The vast array of words other than “fallout” she could have selected (like results, repercussions, consequences, outcome, developments, aftermath etc.)
  • Ann Curry’s interview was not very cool.
    • Which isn’t a major departure for her.  

The Medical Marijuana Fake-Out

13 Jun
  • The use of marijuana with a doctor’s prescription is legal in several states.
  • Washington is one of those states.
  • However.
  • A few days ago, the Washington state Supreme Court ruled that employers in the state could fire employees who fail a drug test for having marijuana in their systems.
  • Even if the employee has a prescription for it.
  • And doesn’t use the drug while at work.
  • And doesn’t perform poorly at work.
  • Whether or not you’re for or against medical marijuana is irrelevant.
  • What’s not very cool is that state and federal law are so out of sync with one another.
  • The state Supreme Court ruled that the state Human Right Commission cannot pursue medical marijuana use-related claims because it’s illegal under federal law.
  • Even though it’s legal under state law.
  • Let’s classify this one as a case of “official confusion” since it’s a government-sanctioned contradiction.

The quantum law of physics: cool. The quantum law of marijuana: not very cool.

The Russel Crowe Circumcision Rant

10 Jun
  • Today, Russel Crowe used his freedom of speech.
  • To rant about foreskin.
  • Yes, foreskin.
  • And the removal of it.
  • As in circumcision.
  • In a tweet, he called the practice “barbaric and stupid.”
  • He also said, in part, “…if you feel it is your right to cut things off your babies please unfollow and f**k off; I’ll take attentive parenting over barbarism.”
  • Later, after much protest from followers, he apologized.
  • It’s not very cool to rant against circumcision. 
  • It makes you seem like you’re severely self-conscious about your own foreskin.
  • And that’s too much information.

Russell, keep the genital ranting to yourself.

The Pup Whose Wheelchair Was Stolen

7 Jun
  • Massachusetts resident Dave Feeney has a disabled dog, named Lucky.
  • A wheelchair must be strapped to its hind quarters.
  • After an afternoon playing with Lucky on his front lawn, Dave brought the pup into the house and left the wheelchair out front.
  • When Dave went back out to get the wheelchair later on, it was missing.
  • As in stolen.
  • Someone stole Lucky’s wheelchair.
  • Stealing a disabled pup’s wheelchair is not very cool. 

Stealing a wheelchair is not very cool. Stealing a dog's wheelchair is more not very cool.

The Bachelorette Douchebaggery Continues

6 Jun
  • Bentley left.
  • Why?
  • Cause he’s not into Ashley.
  • That’s likely true.
  • If he were interested in promoting his business, he would have stayed as long as possible.
  • But what’s not very cool is that he led her on.
  • And plays her hard as he’s saying goodbye.
  • Wethinks a lot of insecurity played a roll.
  • Is Bentley a sociopath?
  • Maybe.
  • It’s annoying to hold a girl who’s crying he says?
  • Effing douche. Not very cool.
  • This makes William’s ripping of Ashley at the roast look like a little joke.

You're so uncool you don't get the respect of a right-side-up photo.

The Weiner, Part II: Shirtless Weinerflexing

6 Jun
  • Uh oh.
  • Weiner might be is in trouble now.
  • Bigger trouble.
  • A woman alleges that Congressman Weiner emailed her a photo of him on May 20.
  • Bare-chested.
  • Weinerflexing.
  • Nice build, Mr. Weiner.
  • However.
  • If this is true, it’s not very cool.
  • Really not very cool.
  • Don’t you know that you WILL get in trouble for doing stuff like this?
  • If you feel the urge, leave a comment with your guess of how many more Weiner photos will surface over the next 30 days.

It's not very cool to screw yourself and your constituents cause you need to flex.

The 2,500-Penny Medical Bill

6 Jun
  • A 38-yr-old Utah man recently received a $25 medical bill.
  • It was a bill he didn’t think he deserved.
  • That’s not so rare.
  • It made him mad.
  • That’s not so rare either.
  • But what is rare is the way he chose to express his anger.
  • How?
  • Pennies.
  • Lots.
  • 2,500 of them.
  • Dumped on the reception counter of the medical office.
  • Not Very Cool: Part 1.
  • The police were called.
  • He was fined $140 for disorderly conduct.
  • Not Very Cool: Part 2.
  • The irony.

It's not very cool to pay with pennies.

The Boy Who Sold His Kidney For An iPad

4 Jun
  • The title says it all.
  • A 17-yr old boy in China wanted a iPad.
  • Really, really, really wanted one.
  • More than anyone you know.
  • But they’re expensive.
  • So he found an extremely sketchy organ broker.
  • Who helped him sell one of his kidneys for the equivalent of ~$3,000.
  • The surgery was performed at a facility that wan’t properly outfitted to undertake that kind of procedure.
  • Big shock.
  • But now he has his iPad.
  • And one not very cool kidney.

iPads are way cooler than kidneys.

The Cops and the Gator

3 Jun
  • Police in Kansas City, KS suburb were called when a group of children spotted an alligator in a pond.
  • Let this marinate for a sec: a wild alligator in Kansas.
  • A local conservation official gave the police permission to shoot the gator if they believed it posed a threat.
  • So they shot it.
  • Twice.
  • In the head.
  • Nothing happened.
  • That’s probably because the alligator was made of concrete.
  • As in it was fake.
  • This incident comes hot on the heels of UK cops launching an attack against a stuffed white tiger.
  • Shooting fake animals with real bullets is not very cool.

I'm unarmed... and fake.

The Congressman (Weiner) and His Severe Case of Mystery Crotch

2 Jun
  • Congressman Anthony Weiner represents New York’s 9th District (NYC).
  • A photo of his mainly clothed weiner was sent from his Twitter account for all the world to see.
  • It’s clear at this point that he didn’t tweet the photo himself.
  • However.
  • Why won’t he say with certainty that it was or wasn’t a photo of his crotch?
  • Why?
  • Let’s analyze this more deeply.
  • Here are the Weiner’s two options: 1) he can say it was his crotch; 2) he can say it wasn’t his crotch.
  • He can’t say the FBI is looking into photo manipulation.
  • Or photo insertion, whatever that means.
  • Obviously none of this really matters.
  • It’s just quite funny, no?
  • Failing to be able to identify your own crotch is not very cool.

Anthony Weiner has a severe case of mystery crotch.

The Sky Express Death Trap

31 May
  • Sky Express runs discount buses between New York’s Chinatown and many locations up and down I-95.
  • Early this morning, a Sky Express bus flipped over in Virginia while on the way to NYC.
  • Because the driver was fatigued.
  • Four riders were killed. Many were injured.
  • This is after Sky Express had been previously cited 45 times.
  • For driver fatigue.
  • Maybe there’s something to all of those citations.
  • How not very cool can a situation be before regulations are enacted?

Failing to regulate is not very cool.

The Blue Angels’ Version of Chicken

31 May
  • The Blue Angels are the U.S. Navy’s flight demonstration squadron.
  • They perform awesome aerobatic maneuvers.
  • They are the best at everything they do. 
  • Except on May 22.
  • On that day, their commanding officer (Cmdr. Koss) took the team excessively close to the deck (a.k.a. ground) during a barrel roll maneuver.
  • Excessively is an understatement. 
  • It was so close, in fact, that he stepped down as commander for flying too aggressively and at an “unacceptably low minimum altitude.”  
  • When the Blue Angels are flying too aggressively, something’s definitely wrong.
  • This airborne mistake is not very cool.
  • Skip to the 30-second mark in the video below to see how the maneuver is supposed to look.
  • Skip to 1:40 to see how Cmdr. Koss messed up.
 
← Older Entries
Newer Entries →

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.